Guy Walks Into A Bar Jokes

[robertb]

Guy walks into a bar with a pair of jumper cables wrapped around his neck and shoulders. The bartender looks at him and says "OK, you can come in here but don't try to start anything."

I got a million of them.

[james_t]

This one works better verbally than in print (try speaking the punch line if you don't get it), but here goes anyway:

Three strings were going out for a drink. They got into their string car and the first string went into a bar and ordered a drink, but the bartender told him, "I', sorry, we don't serve strings here."

They got to a second bar. The second string went in, ordered a drink, but was also told "I'm sorry, we don't serve strings here." The second string stormed out.

They got to a third bar. The third string tied another string around his waist, combed his hair until it was really frizzy and walked in and ordered a drink, and was served promptly. After a moment the bartender looks at him and says, "Wait a minute, aren't you a string?"

He replied, "No, I'm a frayed knot."

[troublesome one]

A grasshopper walks into a bar.

Bartender says, "Hey, we've got a drink named after you."

Grasshopper says, "Oh, you've got a drink named Bob?"