Post your Witty Comments

[Dragon16]

well I'd like to know what funny things people have to say.


For instance


Stastics show that 3 out of four people make up 75% of the world's population

[Mr Douglas]

I make (sometimes) disgusting parodies out of pop music songs:
"This one goes out to the one I cuuuuut.....
This one goes out tooooo the one that left, ....my behind!"

[Mr Douglas]

OOOH! Another REM- (they're easy)-
"That's PeeWee in the corner.......
That's PeeWee in the cop...light...
*****-in his ****!"

[BigDeel]

I ask my wife all the time.. Ok let's make a Deel.

[hideaway70]

Stastics show that 3 out of four people make up 75% of the world's population

87% of statistics are made up on the spot <--------

[bigkneedgal]

Never wear earmuffs when hunting rattlesnakes.

(this advice comes with a full, money-back guarantee)

[No Adventure Is Too Small]

Directions on curling iron. "Do not use while sleeping"

[Mr Douglas]

A friend of mine is a UPS driver.......... Whenever I see him, I remind him to always lift with his back, not his legs.

[nathandiehl]

A while back, Comedy Central was running a 'Submit your Pun' contest, and I submitted 10 puns to the contest.
Needless to say, no pun in 10 did win.

[bigbass]

A while back, Comedy Central was running a 'Submit your Pun' contest, and I submitted 10 puns to the contest.
Needless to say, no pun in 10 did win.

Hahaha, nice!!

[evilkumquat]

A while back, Comedy Central was running a 'Submit your Pun' contest, and I submitted 10 puns to the contest.
Needless to say, no pun in 10 did win.

Ugh.

Please stop punishing us.

[flatbird1]

There are a lot of laws floating around. For instance, in Texas you can't marry your widows' sister.

[flatbird1]

Forty nine per cent of the people in Indiana are below average.

[Rubycat1]

Why did the melons decide to have a traditional wedding? They cantaloupe.

I know, it's pretty bad, but it was a big hit with my daughter when she was 10.

[james_t]

Life is the leading cause of death.

[bigbass]

The early worm gets eaten!

[evilkumquat]

Isn't is suspicious that 40% of sick days are claimed on Mondays and Fridays?

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*Not mine, but from an early Dilbert comic. It felt like something that fit the general feel of this thread.

[No Adventure Is Too Small]

Life is the leading cause of death.

From the funeral home salesman.

"This casket here is guaranteed for life" !

[flatbird1]

A highway sign in South Dakota, " Do not pass snow plows on the right."

[BigDeel]

Found this posted on many forums.
"The trouble with quotes on the Internet is that it is nearly impossible to discern if they are genuine." - Abraham Lincoln