"A new report found that Facebook has created more than 450,000 jobs. Unfortunately, photos posted on Facebook have ended 550,000 jobs." –Jimmy Fallon
"There's a new Facebook app that will post a final status update for you after you die. That's ridiculous. I don't need someone to change my status when I die. I need them to water my Farmville crops." –Jimmy Fallon
"President Obama wants to get Americans back to what we do best. He wants teachers teaching, police policing, firemen fighting fires, and the rest of us checking Facebook." –Jimmy Kimmel
"Facebook has been redesigned and it now contains a real-time news ticker. Every update says, 'Breaking news: You’re screwing around at work.'" -Conan O'Brien
"The NYPD created a new unit that will use social media sites to catch criminals. Criminal caught on Facebook and Twitter will be arrested, while criminals caught on MySpace will be told about Facebook." –Conan O'Brien
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